Loompah Land, Isla de Luna?

In process of designing own postage stamp. It IS missing a "place". Looking for ideas, other pretend places. 
Am thinking of "Nizhoni". I like the look of the word. I like the sound of the word. Was thinking while journaling that perhaps a bit of writing and description of this place would make the stamp designing more cohesive. Boyo! Do I love stuff like that!
DONE!
Just starting on this new visual/conceptual formulaic project while I get painting studio workable. My back seems to be in very good shape and I get so excited about being able to walk and have stamina.
While cleaning Studio Up, the journaling studio, I found out just what I had. I have LOTS of material for Cornell Boxes. All of it very loved, all very meaningful. The discovery was the sure ticket to make boxes.
Also discovered years of collecting canvases. I must have been buying them on special. They are all small, nothing larger than 24"square. I plan on using every one of them.

Personal Collection of Figures

Am building a collection of figures that I can trace and overlay. Ashley Garrettson, a fellow grad student was doing this, life-size version in 1992.
Am sort of following along with whatever happens to interest me. Its quite indulgent. Well, feels that way. Its a good idea for me because I can get fraught and tangled in "shoulds". My very favorite advice from my very first therapist in 1969 was "should-hood is shit-hood". Brilliant. And true.
Meanwhile, our house is getting a S L O W re-examine. I use the house quite differently now that I am here all day. Things just don't work for me as it is. Lots of purging going on. Not as fast as I would like. Baby Step Progress.
Sacroiliac Joint is also Baby Step Progress.
Color me Grateful.

Mindfullness

The day came in wearing a false mask.
Sadness and desperation
I hate those two guys.
They will take the color and valor out of my life and leave me all alone.
I don't know where they come from.
Fear I guess.
They are made of paper and can be crumpled, torn or burned.
I choose deelight.
I will take my glorious toy car out for a ride and I will feel the deelight.
All a matter of perception.
Yessir.

18 linear inches of Journal

2013 -  Present
The thing-ness of these journals thrills me.
My history.
Documentation of my commitment/need.
I have lots of doubts (fewer and fewer however) about myself as an artist, but when I can see and touch this evidence of daily work ....it convinces even me.
Who do I think will question my authority? Guess I believed in the existence of Art-Cops ready to shame and punish those operating under false pretenses.
Isn't that silly?

When will I ever be an artist?

Since studio re-do is not even started yet and I am tired of wanting to paint and NOT painting. I've started.
Cut a stencil of Moroccan influence. Its made from a cereal box. I loved every minute of its creation. I tried it out this morning with materials available to me at my journaling table. Mucked up the painting surface right away! Hah! Good start. That means a layer to work over!
Honest layering!
The history begins!
I ordered rice paper so that I can paint transparent and paste.
CHINE COLLE! You know how long I've wanted Chine Colle to be a part of my life? Oh...since 1994! Woot! Rice paper will be there Tuesday!

Painting is forever in the back of my brain.
I tell myself:
Its takes so much
I want to paint BIG
I have to re-do my studio for making a paint mess
Studio re-do is a BIG JOB
I'm not really an artist until I make paintings

A peaceful solution came to me one morning while journaling. I can paint. Perhaps right now I will not paint on a 3' or 4' scale. I have lots of big paper. I have ready ideas. I'll paint smaller than really BIG. 24 x 36 is still bigger than my journal pages which are 8 1/2" x 51/2"!

So...as I journal, I mark pages as source material for paintings. I've chosen this one. Its a bird that I go back to time and time again. It feels like a good beginning painting place. Sort of safe. Very Loved. No text though.

Opportunity to fail

When I limit choices in making things happen:
* I get very frustrated because there is nothing I want to use
* Visual plane fails
* I have to make things work
Its at that time when my brain grows.
I get to fail. This place of failure is familiar. I have to move past it. I am working in a page of my journal and it cannot be abandoned. I love that about a picture plane---I can layer over, I can tear things off...those events of process are the very things that make the picture plane so rich to me!
By the end of this week when my fun game of table scraps is over I will be able to see this page as the beginning of the struggle....

Table Scraps

It dawned on me that my spaces are quite the mess. My journaling space has become constricting because of my resistance to throwing things AWAY.
I find them too lovely.  It's time to make use or toss.
They have a week.
I'll try to use them all.
I'll try NOT to use any other paper only table scraps.
Good exercise for my brain.
Good exercise for my psyche after a holiday season of wanton collage consumption.

EEK!

A bit of everything that I make:
Frida Dog Calendar
Found Object Jewelry
Mosaics
Cornell Boxes
Journals
Zip Pouches
EEK!


I KNOW there is a Niche for the things I make, but it is not here where I live.
I've had a day job that has allowed me to fail at craft shows.
Making things specifically to sell has been violent poison for me. I've tried it and suffered for it.
Now I have the luxury of time and I am listening to my Impulse to make. That Impulse gets to be the leader.
New Adventures!

Muertos Promenade

Last year at this time I was in Albuquerque in the Dia de Muertos parade. It was stellar; an experience to remember. This year I wanted to see how it would go in my small town. Two friends joined me. We carried handsome info cards as educational tools as well as parasols edged with pompoms.
I love an event! I love making life special. Its what I did as a children's librarian and hope to continue as I transition to a full time artist-maker.
Its back to making next week. I think mosaics need my attention. Lots of fish to grout.

I don't know until I try!

Is what I say when I try something and it doesn't work. Yesterday I tried sauteing radishes because I read that they can taste like potatoes. (I really miss potatoes but now I am a Keto-Eater and potatoes have too many carbohydrates) THEY DON'T TASTE LIKE POTATOES! So all that good butter right in to the compost! Ah well the microorganisms will enjoy them!
Same with the brilliant idea I have to re-make a wide-brim-inexpensive-straw hat into a Boater.

Its because I want to wear one and I had the straw hat and found a tutorial and I love to make...so...The Boater is not done. But maybe it will work, but if I didn't try I wouldn't know.

Today's journal page led to new discoveries about surfaces! I love when that happens! I've been using stencils in unusual ways to add depth to plain paper backgrounds. I have been inking the stencil, misting the page and burnishing the stencil to transfer the negative area of the stencil. Its so beautiful to me.

Frida Dog calendar is nearly ready for photos! Its a low-tech job as is most everything I do.

Zip Pouches

50!
50 colorful zippers from Amazon! I shared half with my brilliant sister. She makes zip pouches of the most beautiful sort and inspired me to give it a try. Thought I could make pouches from my mountains of scrap fabric but it turns out I like to buy fabric that would make lovely zip pouches!
To get really good at something I must make about 50. Am only half way.
Fully lined.
Sweet. Sweet.

POOF! Journal Entry # 3997

Am visited by negative voices that tell me yuck about myself and my work. It seems to be a common occurrence. I understand the usefulness of such insights but many times its unproductive and dangerous. I really don't want to censor my ideas. I'd rather let them see the light of day and make them better.
Made a journal entry about it.
My creative energy (purple poof) has sent it scurrying!
Frida Dog calendar is all printed. I am waiting for the binding rings to come so I can bind them together.

My Dream Halloween

I have such high expectations of a deliriously fun Halloween. But I don't know what that looks like so I decided to ask myself and this is today's answer.

My Dream Halloween

It starts at the beginning of the month when we meet to talk about costume we want to make for ourselves. We make drawings and share ideas.

I decorate the house starting at the beginning of the month; designing the walled garden space as a spooky space where I can make a fire and enjoy the autumn weather when it finally breaks through.

Part of the Dream Halloween is story telling somewhere. It’s the opportunity to read Widow’s Broom by Chris van Allsburg.

On October 31, we would have dinner together, just a few people in costumes. We talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. We eat very delicious food. Then we walk around town. We walk through the cemetery. We walk the streets watching the littles trick or treating. When we are tired of walking we come back and sit around the fire in the dark chilly weather with wine and music.

That’s all.

Its nothing really is it? Its doable. 

Walking amongst the Bogies

Walking/living amongst the Bogies:
guilt 
fear 
sadness

Ghostification

The narratives of my work often include alternate planes. I like that idea.
There was a time when there seemed to be lots of hype about this sacred place and that sacred place and people were making pilgrimages to these "sacred" places. I guess to experience a transformation of consciousness. That hype  enraged me because, again, it shut lots of people OUT. Me included. Elitism.
Perhaps it was Joseph Campbell who started me thinking about the ever present opportunity for the transcendent. It was practical, free and available at all times to EVERYONE!
No commodification. Isn't that funny? Commodification of the sacred?

Last year's journal page.
I've never experienced a ghost. Ghosts are like characters in a story. I do know people who claim to have personal experiences with ghosts. Wait! Sometimes I find myself responding to something I hear my grandma saying or my father saying. Or old friends who have died.
But I've never seen a ghost.
Only heard them I guess.

Recovery Day

Continuing Frida Dog Collage Calendar Project. This is the October Beauty!
I was making dog pictures with Frida (Kahlo) headgear in my visual journal last December. A friend suggested this would be a good idea for a calendar. That's what I'm doing. Utilitarian + Aesthetic! I am saving the actual calendar bits for the final stage of all 12 images.
Yesterday was Recovery Day.
I had a brilliant massage on Wednesday. The brilliant massage unleashed bunch of stuff and it takes a day to recover.
I napped.
I read.
I rested.
And I built all the heads for the Pixie Ghost Ring for the front yard. I am hoping I can store these from year to year and reassemble for each October.
My collages are NOT digital.They are all hand cut and glued.
Its a Captain Kangaroo thing. The sound of his scissors determined the course of my life.

BIG MAGIC and Fish Mosaics

Am listening to Elizabeth Gilbert's BIG MAGIC. Having fought the battle of making for all of my life, this book is a brilliant "Hell Yeah! Right On!" Got it as e-audio book from my public library.
Came upon this page in last year's journal. I've never made this apron, but I'm glad I drew down the pockets because I really want to try this double pocket idea! It may be on the agenda for today.
All of a sudden, my fish mosaics came in to my brain. I have a stack of them out in Studio South. They are all ready for their black grout. I wanted to find new solution to edging and I thought I had but I never drew it down and now I can't remember my brilliant idea. Today I will start drawing solutions. If my previous idea was a good one I trust that it will come back once it finds out I need it again.
Lesson # 674,300, 822: Draw ideas DOWN! when I have them!
Thinking Pixie Ghost Ring Too!

Fighting my Desires

Its a continuing scenario:

Girl does well with daily making.
Girl wants some payoff from daily making.
(other people seems to get friends, attention, sales even!)
Girl's only payoff from daily making is Daily Making.
Girl wants more.
Girl becomes sad and unsatisfied.
Girl continues to make daily.

AND then she realizes that she has been caught up in desire for things she does not have. When she lets go of the desire she feels fulfilled and grateful for her precious Daily Making.

This month I play with October seasonal images and spookinesses.

I am so in love with this season. Its mystery has enchanted me since I was a little.

Marjorie's House

Visited Marjorie Rawling's house in Cross Creek last winter with my sister and her husband. Had a most wonderful time being at her farm which is much like it was 60+ years ago. I decided that when I retire I would volunteer and become a docent. I could continue my love of telling stories!
Flash ahead to Retirement.
Serendipitously, the park needed 1940's style dresses for their employees and volunteers. It is a living history park. I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY GOOD FORTUNE! I spent hours on research and then figured out how to make dresses that would be useful and not fussy! The farm woman at that time had no time for fussy. I learned about feedsack clothing and the actual work of clothing a family before mass produced clothing became available.
I settled on the Dottie Angel Simplicity 1080 pattern with 1940's details. I made 4 for myself as an experiment and then 3 for the park with 3 - 4 more to come. Plus I made custom dresses for 2 hardworking employees at the park. AND my sister made a lovely dress from an authentic pattern from the time using vintage reproduction fabric.
I started my docent training on Friday.
Am reading Cross Creek.
Am enchanted.